When I first posted back in January that I was participating in Ali Edwards’ online workshop One Little Word (you can read my initial post here) I had no real idea about what I was getting myself in to. I mean, I’d seen some lovely quotes, some beautiful art journals and scrapbooks, but did I really know where this would leave? Not a clue.
I’ve spent the month completing Ali’s prompts, and focusing on my one little word, Brave. In creating my binder I’ve got something tangible to hang on to… and to look through when I need a reminder of what I want from this year. I’ve built on to the prompts and included photos, quotes, project life cards, movie tickets… things that are meaningful to my focus on bravery, and in a big picture sense, what I want from life.
I’ve been surprised, challenged, sad, angry… such a range of emotions. It’s hard to be honest with yourself, when there is no one else around, about exactly where you are and then where you want to be. But doing that is exactly what I need. In recording the things that I want invite into my life, searching for definitions, quotes, and images that reflect my word, I’ve identified my elephant in the room.
I realise that much of what I’m doing – the way I’m living, loving, just simply being, is founded on fear. I’ve been afraid of consequences and mistakes, of looking foolish or unpopular, of just doing the wrong thing. But most of all, of being hurt. And so there is procrastination, avoidance, laughing off the serious stuff or shrugging and changing the subject. I guess that this isn’t a huge epiphany for many – but I definitely feel like I’m looking at a reality that I want to change.
If I get nothing else from this year (and believe me, I plan on doing a lot more) this kind of awareness is REALLY huge in my little world. Yes it’s all in my head right now. No I don’t expect that I will be eloquently expressing my emotions or tackling my dreams next week. It’s all in the journey. And I’m really loving it.
The pictures included in this post are from my One Little Word binder. I had one vision in my mind, then I walked into my local scrapbooking store, saw the gold binder and suddenly went in a completely different direction. I’m not usually a gold girl, but I’m loving this binder, loving all the bits and bobs that I’ve found to decorate it, and most especially, loving the process of sitting down in the peace and quiet and adding to it. I’ve even started on a project life journey, but that’s a post for another day.